


The closer we get, the less we need to show

by izicb



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:47:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23657848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izicb/pseuds/izicb
Summary: Yesterday I was between Unstoppable and this song, so today I wrote inspired by What You Don't Do, from Lianne La Havas again, just because I can’t stop hearing her amazing voice. I can’t think on another ship to write that, to me this song is meant to be about Clexa, so…This fic will be placed somewhere between the first episodes of third season and 3x07: Thirteen (yes, before they killed our dreams).
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	The closer we get, the less we need to show

It was an offensively beautiful day in Polis and Clarke was looking thru her window waiting Octavia so they could go back to Arkadia and try to stop Pike’s dangerous choices to become real before it was too late. Clarke knew way to well how dangerous choices could be, after all, months later she still had nightmares about the mountain people. She wasn’t angry with Lexa anymore, she couldn’t find strength enough to, but she also couldn’t stay with her in Polis knowing Skaikru was about to restart the war they both fought so hard to stop. Her people needed her to stop another war, another bloodbath, and Lexa could understand a heavy duty better than no one, but that doesn’t make it any easy.  
Part of her was spinning thru this need to tell hard things to Lexa, to make the Commander feel guilty to left her alone in Mount Weather, but every time they were together, she just forgot what she wanted to say. This time would be different, she promised herself, knowing that Lexa would come to her room any time now to let her know the threat of Chancellor Pike, ignoring that she already knew it. Clarke heard the door opening behind her, but don’t looked back.  
\- We need to talk. - Lexa said entering Clarke's room.  
\- About Pike, I suppose.  
\- Did you know? And didn’t tell me?  
\- Oh, I should? I didn’t perceive that the Commander needed me to get informations or make decisions.  
\- What is it, Clarke? - Lexa could not noted the change of behave of Clarke.  
\- What? - she was frustred even that didn't knew why.  
\- This… attitude.  
\- You don’t like my attitude? Well, I don’t like to be deceived. - heavy words, she knew it, but couldn't stop herself.  
\- And I already said I’m sorry about that. What do you want me to?  
\- Don't know, come back in time and save all that people. - a lie, she was aware.  
Yes, Clarke wanted to save them all, but that wasn't possible and, to be honest, wasn't what she wanted from Lexa and she knew it.  
\- Clarke, what is that about? It’s not about Mount Weather and we both know it. - sometimes looked like Lexa could read her mind - You’re telling me everything but the truth.  
\- The truth? Do you want to hear the truth? - her voice was sharpe, staring her.  
\- Yes, please. - Lexa didn't move a inch, defiant.  
\- Well… maybe the truth it’s just words overheard. - she looked away - And overused.  
\- I have no idea what you talkin about right now. - Lexa tried again, with a softness in her voice - What is that about?  
Clarke take a long sigh. She didn’t know either. Of course, she had at minimal one more truth to tell Lexa, but what was the point? She was leaving Polis, leaving Lexa. "Fucking Pike", she thought.  
Lexa walked thru the room and stopped beside her. The commander looked tired, but her posture was altive as always.  
\- Can we make this work? - she used the same soft tone.  
\- This? - Clarke wasn't following the other's thoughts, absorbed on her owns - What you mean?  
\- Can we make us right? Turn the rage, the lies, the pain… in something new?  
\- I don’t know, Lexa. - was the first honest thing she said to the commander in that conversation.  
\- Can we at least try? - Lexa had pleading eyes, but her features were still of the commander.  
Clarke were hurting, but realized that was not about Mount Weather or even Pike. She was angry with herself for being so attracted to the Commander that she doesn’t wanted to fill her duty. And she was hurting that Lexa were seeming to be feeling that too, but were dealing with that much, much better.  
\- Tell me something. - Clarke started - If you could do whatever you wanted, what do you would be doing right now?  
\- Anything?  
\- Anything.  
Lexa got on her knee in front of Clarke and took her bracelet off.  
\- I would asking you to stay with me in Polis. - she took Clarke’s hand and put the bracelet on it - Then I would give you a piece of me to you take with you, because I know that you don’t know how to stay away of your people problems and that you would be ignoring my request no matter what I would say. Then I’ would try anyway, because that's who I am.  
Clarke took Lexa’s hands into hers and pulled her up, but don’t let go of her hand when they stared each other.  
\- I can’t stay. - she entered Lexa’s personal space.  
\- I know. - Lexa leaned her forehead on Clarke’s.  
\- But I want to. - she whispered.  
\- I know. - the commander whispered back.  
\- How do you know? I’m not making this easy for you. - Clarke talked between her tooths, afraid to unlock her jaw and start to cry.  
\- You don’t need to. - Lexa closed her eyes - You don’t need to show it, I already know.  
\- Yeah? What do you know? - Clarke put some space between them to look to her eyes.  
\- I know it all. - Lexa replied without dodge her staring eyes.  
\- The spirit of the commander is telling you that? - Clarke joked trying to not fall in love even more for the woman in front of her, who seemed to know her better then herself - Because I’m not saying anything, Heda.  
\- No, that’s just me. - Lexa held up their gaze a little bit more and then deflected - Well, me and you, Wanheda.  
Clarke didn’t know how, but seeing Lexa without her heda's dress up, without the war painting, and talking to her in that soft tone made her feel like they were just the two of them. Looking in her eyes, she saw a tiny movie crossing to her mind. Their first met. Their alliance. Their disagreement. Every time that Lexa was advise to not do what Clarke was asking and all the times she ignored those advises. The look in her face when she told Clarke about the deal with the mountain man. Her words, "a decision made with the mind, not with the heart". Looking back, Clarke knew it that Lexa didn’t need to tell her about the deal. She didn’t need to talk to her at all, but she choose to go tell her, looking in her eyes, that she was choosing her people. Lexa showed her how she felt in the things she didn’t do and in the things she didn’t said.  
\- I know you love me. - Clarke said, broken the silence once again.  
Lexa eyes widened, taken by surprise with Clarke’s choice of words.  
\- And yes, I know that you think that love is weakness, so you don’t need to proof that to me.  
Lexa was still in silence, not knowing what to do with herself and the urge to kiss Clarke again, but trying to respect the blonde's wishes remembering that she already said that she wasn't ready.  
\- Well, you’ve been proving that since we met, or almost. - she explained, seeing the confused look in Lexa’s eyes - In the things you don’t do, the things you don’t say, the games you don’t play.  
\- Love could be weakness. - Lexa found her voice again - Love could cloud our judgement. Love is the most dangerous thing in the world.  
\- Because is the most powerful. - Clarke completed, knowing what she wasn't saying.  
\- I can’t stop thinking that I've been saving up my time so I could spend it all on you. - Lexa said as if it was nothing making Clarke smile wide to her. - All I need is to see you smile. - she matched her lover's smile with her own.  
Clarke couldn’t help aymore and embrace Lexa’s neck, looking directly in her eyes before to close the distance between them and kissed her. Lexa kissed her back, still smiling. They stay like that for some time, just enjoying the touch of the other, sharing kisses, lost in their bubble. Until they heard a knock in the door and one of Lexa’s guards announce that Octavia had come back.  
\- I have to.. - Clarke started, but Lexa interrupt her.  
\- I know. - she sighed - Can we eat together before you go? I mean, you have to eat, right? Here or in my room? I’m not ready to let you go yet.  
\- You know, you’re terrible cute sometimes, Commander.  
\- That’s a yes? - Clarke couldn't stop thinking that Lexa were young as much as her, despite all her responsibilities.  
\- Yes. - she gave a soft kiss in Lexa’s lips - Let me talk to Octavia first.  
\- I’ll be waiting. - was the last thing she heard before leaving her room.  
In the moment that Clarke got out of the room, her heart tightened knowing how little time she would have with Lexa. She talked briefly with Octavia and even tried to make some excuses to stay a little longer in Polis, but didn’t work. She knew it wouldn't work, but tried anyway. Octavia said some harsh things that was echoing in her mind and she knew that she was right, but knowing that didn’t make letting Lexa behind easier. “I know what I got and I know where we're going” she repeated to herself in the way back to her room.

When she entered the room, she saw a big table settled, with too many food for just two people and she wasn’t hungry at all, but Lexa was sitting there, siping a glass of wine, waiting for her. “I could get used to this”, she talked to herself knowing that say it out loud will do no good for any of them. Lexa smiled to her, a smile that was almost saying “you don't need to show it, I already know it all” again. In fact, Clarke could hear Lexa’s voice in her mind.  
\- Tonight, Wanheda, I’m at your service. - Lexa filled a glass and give it to her.  
\- Can I tell you a secret? - she leaned to talk close to Lexa’s ear.  
\- Everything you want to. - Lexa replied without hide the thrill that Clarke’s proximity caused on her.  
\- I’m no Wanheda. - she said in a low voice leaning even more in to Lexa - I’m no ambassador. - she kissed Lexa’s jaw - Don't tell the whole world, but I just wanna be your girl.  
Lexa turned her face to met Clarke’s and they kissed again, as if no interruptions had happened, completely forgotten about their dinner. Later that night, they were both lying down in Clarke’s bed, trying to savor all they could of their last night together in Polis, with their hearts filled with love and hoping for better days, when they could finally be together and with their duties doned. They were both tired, with their bodies intertwined, but happy that they could confess their love before Clarke leaving for Arkadia.  
\- That’s something about us - Clarke said tracing the tattoo in Lexa’s back with her fingers - Feels like the closer we get, the less we need to show. - she kiss the highest one, almost in her nape, sending chills all over Lexa's body.  
\- Good to know - she replied with a husky voice - Because I have a reputation to maintain.  
\- Only you? - Clarke bit where she had just kissed - I’m Wanheda, after all. No one would be scared of me if they knew that I’m in bed with you.  
\- Well - Lexa rolled herself to look at Clarke - I won't tell if you don’t.  
\- You promise?  
\- I promise. - she softly kissed her lips - There other thing that you can’t tell to the whole world too.  
\- And what is that?  
\- Love is probably clouding my judgement right now. - Lexa leaning and kissed Clarke one more time.  
\- Good, we can make our bad decisions together then.  
Lexa laughed and Clarke followed her, knowing that, no matter what, they will meet again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Thoughts?
> 
> Let me know what you think. :)


End file.
